


A Little Pain

by Dayandnight25



Category: I Love Yoo (Webcomic)
Genre: Drama, I Don't Even Know, One Shot, Personal Growth, Sorry Not Sorry, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 16:17:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14405844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dayandnight25/pseuds/Dayandnight25
Summary: Was the hole in his mind that shade of black too?





	A Little Pain

**Author's Note:**

> First, I dont know what I've done...

The street lights were enough to illuminate his apartment. This time his usually organized place was a chaos. The books weren’t in the right place, nor in the right order. The cake boxes were still over the table.

He let his head fall back in the sofa. He was looking for a right path, some sort of signal, something. The ceiling was pitch black.

Was the hole in his mind that shade of black too?

Five employees were discarded that day. The reason?: creating a hostile working environment. He knew he rushed his decision. But he couldn’t stand more obnoxious comments anymore. ‘She must be a goddess in bed to conquer a man like him’, ‘She is obviously flirting with him because of his money, such a slut’…

He wouldn’t let anyone to talk like that about his brother’s girlfriend. Besides, he knew her... a little. She was a good girl.

He avoided them as much as he could.

People noticed. He didn't.

 

* * *

 

 

He was twenty six when Yeong- Gi announced he will get married with Miss Shin-Ae Yoo. It wasn’t a surprise for anyone. The employees in the company celebrated a lot. They were the perfect couple. Equally kind, smart, loyal… He agreed and he was truly happy when the magazines covers published the big notice.

The youngest and handsome red head Hirahara boy was getting married with a common, yet lovely girl.

His mother wasn’t happy. They needed heirs. And he was the one supposed to get married soon. Now all the hope to keep the family business fell over Nol. The company business partners fell over him like birds of prey.

That company had grown to be an empire.

Kousuke wasn’t surprised. Nol’s future was brilliant, he had a happy life ensured. And he deserved it. Kousuke would have liked to mend the connection with his brother.  
But that was impossible for sure. Sadly they would have to live like this. Until the moment his brother forgives him…He doesn’t remember if he has ever apologized.

He was so sorry for the past. But he couldn’t change it, so he decided not interfere in his brother’s present.

He didn’t really understand why he felt a little pain. It wasn’t about the company inheritance. The pink shirt he was wearing reminded him of the sassy brown haired lady and soon sister in law. Nol will never know anything about that awful day.

 

* * *

 

 

The wedding day was full of laughter and dance. The black haired man had never really enjoyed that sort of celebration. But he wouldn’t make a displeased face for his brother’s sake. The chit chat was strange for him…babies, tablewares, dresses, houses… His brain was making short circuit, so he decided to leave sooner than expected. He sincerely apologized, arguing he had a very important meeting…somewhere. Shin-Ae snickered while Yeong-Gi just lifted a brow and smiled a bit. They were too busy to care for him today.

And they knew him anyway.

He felt a little pain. Shin Ae’s bright smile while leaving the church alongside Yeong Gi hurted him. But that was okay.

The newlywed couple sent him their gratitude for the gift. He went for something practical. A collection of romantic books signed for every author he was certain they’ll like. After the wedding he remembered Nol didn’t enjoy reading too much, and Shin-Ae probably preferred something less…cute. He should have given them a collection of silver tableware. Whatever.

 

***

 

He was twenty seven when the first heir of the new generation was born.

Every magazine in the country showed Declan, the probably owner of the Hirahara empire. A photo of a cute little boy with dark brown hair and vivacious green eyes with his parents holding him was everywhere.

He went to visit the baby for ten minutes the day after he came to the world. He was a certainly decent human being and Kousuke knew that boy would be a fine man like his father. The faces of the parents were brilliant of utterly love.

He felt a little pain. So he decided it was his time to move on. He left his position as director and took the responsibility for international business.

 

* * *

 

 

Kousuke Hirahara is getting wrinkles in his forehead and his belly is starting to grow. He has white hairs once in a while and he wonders if he will be losing his hair too. He’s thirty six now.

He has been everywhere, he has eaten Pudding Chomeur in Canada, Rasmalai in India, Miggliaccio napoletano in Italia, Baklava in Egypt and Pavlova in Australia.

He has gained twelve pounds.

He has read one hundred and twenty four books, the one hundred and twenty five is still in progress.

He has traveled for twenty one countries.

He has been living in USA.

He hasn’t come back for a single day to his own country.

He hasn't got calls from Megan.

He hasn’t married.

Actually, he hasn’t even had a girlfriend. Every gossip magazine says he’s gay.

They don’t understand he’s busy.

But after all…he’s happy.

He’s really happy.

He has loved to learn since he was a child and it has been his biggest opportunity to do so. He could write a lot of books with everything he has seen until now.

He has two nephews and a niece. He has only seen them by photos and magazines. Declan is always besides his brother Won Gi, a brunette five years old boy with red eyes like his mother. Yeong Gi loves to hug his youngest child, a girl, Aoibheann. The sweetest girl Kousuke has ever seen. She is three years old and has bright opper hair with amazingly icy blue eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

He was coming back home after ten years. He isn't going to lie, he’s completely scared. Would Yeong -Gi be angry because he has been away for so many time? Would he punch him in the face as soon as he arrives? Or…would he be upset because he came back?

He wouldn’t be startled if that’s the case, he deserves to be hated…And they have called each other like twice per year… they know about their lifes because of their parents and the secretaries. Plus, he has never called Shin-Ae and they have sent twenty messages in ten years. He has never talked with his nieces. They are basically unknowns.

He’s hesitant about entering the mansion. He brought some gifts for the kids, well…books from different countries... and candies. Now he isn’t so sure it was a good idea. They are too young. He should have bought the newest smartphones with holographic apps for them. Anyways.

He didn’t told anyone except for his assistants that he was coming home, so he arrived home in his Lamborghini telling the security guards it was a surprise.

He hears a child crying and walks to the garden behind the parking lot. There are five children. A little red head girl cries while a petite woman hugs her and pats her head mumbling something.

Shin-Ae looks like a queen. She has changed so much.

He felts the same little pain from before, the one he thought he had forgotten a long time ago.

He walks forward, always forward. And the children look at him like seeing a ghost. The brunette woman sees him with a concerned face. Like if he weren’t real.

-Mrs. Hirahara. – He says. Bowing.

-What?... Kousuke? … I mean… Mr…Mr. Hirahara. What are you doing here? – She sais quickly. He snickers, something like this happened a long time ago.

-Just Kousuke. I wouldn’t like to be adressed the same as my father or my brother.- He didn't know he had five nephews and nieces.- Are they all your children?

-No, no, the blonde girls are Maya’s children.- Shin-Ae says, looking at two tall girls in a swing- Kids come here please. Say hello to your uncle. –

All the kids bowed. He notices they are well mannered. Shin Ae must have really changed.

The girl, the red hair girl, smiles hugely and Kousuke remembers his brother when he was a child. She walks towards him and hugs his legs.

He doesn’t understand the meaning of her actions, but he lifts her and hugs her tightly, he feel his holding his brother . It's impossible, obviously, but his heart skipped a beat in that moment.

Shin Ae smiles and he notices a little tear sliding down her face melting her make up.

He still doesn’t understand. Until he notices a warm water drop in his cheek...

 

 

Why would he cry?

 

* * *

 

His brother punched him. But he was psychologically prepared.

His brother hugged him... and he wasn't expecting that.

He doesn’t feel the little pain anymore. Not since he saw his little niece smiling.

He takes the director position again while his brother is the CEO in the company.

He buys a house in the surroundings and he adopts a white furred cat.

He visits the children every day.

He keeps on traveling almost every month.

 

***

It’s officially the first spring day. Kousuke is looking for some literature on the internet, and there is a sentence that catches his attention. ‘Well now really when we go back into falling in love. And say, it's crazy. Falling. You see? We don't say "rising into love." There is in it the idea of the fall. And it goes back, as a matter of fact, to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation. Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. You see, for all life is an act of faith an act of gamble. The moment you take a step, you do so on an act of faith because you don't really know that the floor's not going to give under your feet. … Allan Watts.)

And he understands. He’s been a complete and utter fool. He was denying the truth all the time. He was falling. Falling in love. Falling for Shin Ae. That’s why he acted so hurriedly all the time. But he kept his walls so high that he wasn’t able to recognize his own feelings. So the pain came after he knew she will never be with him. That she had taken a decision. She loved his brother.

But even more important. He loved his brother more than anyone. And he would have destroyed everything if he had commited a mistake again. Fighting for a girl? Even if she was a very special person? Even if he didn't know what he felt? Even if he knew his brother loved her with all of his might? Even if she probably would have never loved him?

That didn't encourage fraternal love.

He couldn't fix the things. But he had got a new beginning. An opportunity to reborn.

He can start again. The little girl smile told him so.

 

***

 

He had to know the world, the pain, thousands of human beings, lonely nights and extremely long days, happiness, sadness, food, books, countries and his family to understand himself.

Meaning?

He learnt.

He walked towards the balcony and he felt the soft breeze in the sunny day.

There was no hole in his mind or his soul anymore.

He was free.

**Author's Note:**

> Second, My main language is Spanish. ( I know reading very well, but not writing so well) ; - ; So, I'm sure I wrote this with a lot of grammatical mistakes. At least I tried. I'm sorry. xD
> 
> Third, I ship Shinsuke xD. 
> 
> Fourth, I promise I'll write something better someday.
> 
> Fifth, I'm really bad with summaries.


End file.
